I'M NOT YELLING!!!

I was asked today "Why do you yell so much, Daddy?"

My reply: "Because you didn't respond when I spoke in a normal tone of voice...

Not the first time,

the second time,

or even the third time."



One time (one of many) I was exasperated with Miss Prima and asked her "How many times do I have to tell you...?!?!"

Without missing a beat, she said in all seriousness "Oh, about a thousand!"

Careful what questions you ask, Daddy.

All I Need Is The Air That I Breathe...

...Is that too much to ask?

I really should pay more attention to who gives my kids what for Christmas. I want to know who gave my 7 year old daughter a bottle of body spray/perfume this year. "Sea Island Cotton". A 2 oz. bottle, which should really last a gal 6 months is almost gone in 5 days. THE HOUSE REEKS!

She's used it as air freshener, she's used it as hair spray for her "I'm a Hairdresser Now Barbie" It's so thick in her room that the smell can actually be tasted.

I'm sorry, but Daddy has to draw the line somewhere. I had to take it away from her this morning to save us all from contracting lung cancer from all the foreign particulate matter in the air. She didn't seem too upset though, I mean, the bottle's almost empty anyway.

Kid-isms

We were trying to get the two youngest ones bathed and to Church on time. As our little girl disrobed, our little boy noticed the state of her lessd than pristine underpants. "Boy, you pass a lot of gas!"

Our 5 year old girl had too many baby dolls on her bed one night. It was pointed out to her that if she kept all her babies on the bed there would be no room for her to sleep. "We gotta resolve this sich-oo-a-may-shun!"

Sometimes there's nothing funnier than a kid wo can barely read. Our 7 year old daughter liked the song playing on the "radio", which was XM/Sirius through our direct TV receiver. Song information, such as title, artist and album appear on the screen. She tried to read who was singing the song she liked: "Dummy Love-atoo!" (Demi Lovato)

Cream Of Turkey and Wild Rice Soup

I recently discovered this recipe. It's a wonderful way to use up the leftover holiday turkey. It's a welcome, delicious change from the standard, traditional turkey vegetable soup.

Make sure you use wild rice (all black grains) , not just a blend, and definitely don't use regular rice. The wild rice adds a necessary flavor to this soup.

2 q. chicken broth
1 cup each, sliced carrots, celery, leeks
1/2 cup wild rice
1 tsp dried thyme
2 tbs marg. or butter
4 tbs all purpose flour
1 1/3 cup half & half
2 cups chopped turkey
4 tbs dry sherry
A pinch of saffron

In saucepan, mix broth, carrots, celery, uncooked rice, leeks and thyme. Bring to boiling, reduce heat. Cover, simmer 50 minutes or until rice is tender.

Meanwhile, melt margarine or butter in a separate saucepan. Slowly stir in flour, then stir in the 1/2 & 1/2. Cook and stir until bubbly, then continue for 1 more minute. Slowly add this mixture into the soup, stirring constantly. Stir in turkey, and sherry, heat through. Turn off the heat, add a pinch of saffron and stir. Cover, and let sit for 30 minutes (to let the flavors blend). Serve. Enjoy. Receive rave reviews and praise!

Like Father, Like Son

We were in the bank the other day, Dez, Bubba and I. I was at a teller window, taking care of business, Bubba was at the next window, which was unoccupied (When have we ever seen all teller windows at a bank actually atended and in use, really?), trying really hard to see above the counter top. He spies a rather attractive young lady sitting at her desk in the office section behind the counter. He says "Helooo!"

I can only imagine the sight from her perspective, nothing but the big, beautiful brown eyes of a three year old barely poking above the counter top. "Well, hello!" She replies, "How are you?"

"GooOOd!", he answers, "How YOU doin'?"

Joey Tribbiani would have been so proud.

Soap Cookies

Christmas is fast approaching and the rumbly tumbly's thoughts turn to all the treats of the season. It's a rare belly that can resist the wonderous treata of the season.

On Miss Prima's last day of school, her class was having a Christmas cookie exchange. Each kid was supposed to bring in two Christmas cookies per child in the class. While picking her up from school the day before, I noticed the cookies had started to arrive. Much to my disappointment, yet not to my surprise, all the cookies so far were store bought. Being the Uber-Dad that I am, I figured "Well, we're just going to have to show these lazy parents what's up!" We still had a package of sugar cookie mix in the pantry, it should be no problem to whip those up, and what fun would it be for all three kids to play with the cookie cutters? Bubba's been bugging me almost every day to make cut out cookies for the past month. Miss Prima's would be the only homemade cookies in the class.

All went reasonably well, the three of us endedup with 3 dozen cookies shaped like stars, Christmas trees, snowmen, angels, bells and snowflakes. I made up a couple quick batches of simple icing, made out of powdered sugar, butter, milk and vanilla. A bit of red and green food coloring, and we have ourselves a party! At this point, unbeknownst to us, thing went horribly wrong.

We always remind the kids to wash their hands before handling food, or sitting down to eat. In someone's eagerness to get started on the fun, he or she missed the crucial "rinse" step in the hand washing. The cookies ended up tasting like soap! Luckily, we taste-tested them right after bed time that night and caught it in time, before we accidentally washed out the mouths of those poor, unsuspecting 1st and 2nd graders. Some of them probably deserved it anyway, but since we didn't know exactly which cookies were tainted, we couldn't be sure the right kids would get the right cookies.

We decided to not send her to school with any cookies at all. It didn't matter in the end, really. Many parents sent with their kids multiple packages of store bought sugar bombs; Chips Ahoy!, generic, store brand "m&m-style" cookies, as well as many from the bakery departments of all the major local grocery stores. Only two kids brought in anything homemade: One package of star shaped, decorated sugars, and a batch of snickerdoodles. Miss Prima came home with a sack of cookies she'll never (be allowed to) finish on her own.

Here's the recipe for the cookie frosting. (The soap is optional!)
- 1 cup sifted powderd sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla
- milk or orange juice

Mix powdered sugar, vanilla and 1 teaspoon milk or OJ at a time. Stir with a kitchen whisp or use an electric mixer. Ad food coloring of your choice to make it any color you want. For cookie icing, you'll want this frosting to be very stiff. Placing this frosting in the refridgerator for a while will help.